My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
