its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
