If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How naked do you want me to be?
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