My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
