last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
