3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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