If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
