Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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