im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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