I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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