i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
