my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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