Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
