When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Porn is love you can see.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
