i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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