i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
