on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
