I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
