She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
