grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
