You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
