oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
