so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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