When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
