Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
