Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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