Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
