don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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