Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
