We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I got inside last night via doggy door
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