Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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