worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
