Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
