she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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