k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
