THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it's great music for shaving your balls
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
