well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
