The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
