Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
