I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
