Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
