Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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