Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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