dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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