ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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