Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
