They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
