you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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