Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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