you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
