ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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